The Hang-sus line of Jesus Toys

The following ideas are for toys, action figures, and accessories for a line of products branded under the name Hang-sus.

The Hang-sus action figure comes with it’s own cross, hammer and nails.
“Make him die for your sins again”

Joseph and the virgin Gary (with stubble) come as a couple
Accessories included (dress and lingerie).

The Romans come with spears and whips.

The Israelites really spit.

The wind-up Jesus doll caries his own cross and stumbles but gets back up and tries again.  
Sound effects: moaning (barb wire crown included)

The executioner comes with an axe and a black mask

The Blood of Christ Beer has a cartoon picture of Jesus on the can with the slogan
“Drink of my blood because it tastes good”

GI-Jesus comes wearing a full camo outfit, two hand grenades, an m-16 machine gun and a mobile comand unit shaped like a camel.

Noah’s Ark is a luxurious ocean going yacht equipped with a swimming pool, spa,  exercise room  and a variety of exotic animals in a “heavy petting zoo”.

Bestiality Noah

The impregnate her yourself Mary blow up doll

The punching bag Jesus doll
“Have you ever wanted to pay Jesus back for making your life so miserable?  Take your anger out on the son of God with the new life sized Jesus punching bag doll.”

The my size cross is made of heavy durable plastic.
“Now you can be a martyr just like he was…….or you can enjoy the pleasure of making others die for their sins just like the Romans did.”

The 2nd coming Jesus doll is a high tech futuristic cyborg.  This powerful half-holy man, half machine is passing judgement on all of mankind on Judgement Day.  This time God sent down his only son fully equipped with the best in futuristic technology and a high powered laser gun.

The cocky Jesus pull string doll wears torn blue jeans, a rock band t-shirt and styles his hair in dreads.  When you pull his string he says:
“I’m the son of God baby.”
“Your place or mine.”
“Ya wanna try the messiah baby.”
“My dad can beat up your dad.”
“Ha, Ha, Ha.”
“SINNER!”
“I know  I’m not supposed to but…..”
“How will my parents find out.”
“Get down on your knees and pray.”
“Come on drink it…it’s my blood.”

The body of Christ branded luncheon meat.

Soap: The cleanse yourself you’re dirty baptismal soap.

The destroy Jerusalem board game with stone launchers and a plastic replica of the city.
Using 3 teams (The Jews, Muslims, and Christians) the object of the game is to destroy Jerusalem.  

Bible verses toilet paper
“Wipe your ass with the word of God.”
Double ply, never breaks.

The talking confessional stand:
Push a button and listen to the characters interact.  Nine time out of ten the father says “That’s O.K. you’re forgiven.”  But the tenth time he says “YOU WHAT! I’m sorry but I can’t forgive that.”  The other character confesses a variety of different sins.